I have worried a lot about what people think of me. Since I was really little. I don't know if it's conditioning, what I did or didn't receive during childhood or if it's my nature. Or simply both. Either way I have walked through many of my days anxious about how people perceive me and what my impact is on them. In that process I have tried to be everything everyone needs in a sense. Stressful. I worry what my managers think, I worry what my brother thinks, I worry what my flatmate thinks, I worry what ex partners think. Fucken madness. Perhaps I am far to self absorbed? I make myself too important? I'm afraid of not being loved by others?
Well right now I say 'Fuck It!' I have to learn to love me. If I've got my back, it doesn't matter if Jo-blow doesn't.
Nothing really matters ay. And at the end of the day, no one is actually too worried about me, because they're worried about themselves.
New big lesson, not gonna be easy, but going to be worth it.
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