Higher self or simply just you and all of you?

"In Zen, a duality between a Higher Self and a lower self is not made. Because if you believe in the Higher Self, this is a simple trick of the lower self. If you believe that there is no really lower self, there is only the Higher Self but that somehow or other the Higher Self has to shine through, the very fact that you think it has to shine through still gives validity to the existence of a lower self. If you think you have a lower self, or an ego to get rid of, then you fight against it, nothing strengthens the delusion that it exists more than that. So this tremendous schizophrenia in humans beings, of thinking that they are rider and horse, Soul in command of body, or Will in command of passions – wrestling with them; all that kind of split thinking simply aggravates the problem, and we get more and more split. And so we have all sorts of people engaged in an interior conflict which they will never resolve. Because the True Self either you Know it, or you don’t. If you do Know It, then you Know It’s the Only One and the other so called lower self just ceases to be a problem. It becomes something like a mirage, and you don’t go around hitting at mirages with a stick, or trying to put reigns on them. You just know that they are mirages and walk straight through them.”

 – Alan Watts

WHEN LOVE IS NOT ENOUGH

The man who's been designed to love the uniqueness of you will never make you feel like something about you or your circumstances is wrong or needs to be changed. 

Even if something about a woman is in dire need of being addressed, the right man will never point it out in a way that leaves her feeling hurt or fatally flawed, and certainly never bring it up in a fight. 

The right man will love your quirks, support you in the work you're doing and determine with maturity whether the logistics of your lives fits together or not.

The right man isn't going to ask you to change for him, he's going to determine if the two of you've got more than chemistry, if you've got long term compatibility. 

Love by itself is not enough and creating a working relationship at middle age is more challenging than when we were younger and more flexible, especially with kids and careers to consider. 

Women don't realize how specific men's standards for 'the one' is and how men will often settle just to avoid being alone. If you're the one, a man will come up with ways to change his course to include you rather than asking you to do the reverse. 

Lean back, if you're what he really wants, if you tick all his boxes he'll find a way to live his purpose and run his business or have a career that includes you without you having change who you are or give up things you love. In fact, he'll go out of his way to make sure you keep them. 

It's not a romantic 'notion' that women have that creates this, it's an unconscious test that sets a standard for a relationship that can handle life's major stresses. 

If it's not a fit, a conscious man will simply break things off. Less conscious men drag things out, disappear, dump you or cheat when someone that's more convenient appears. Be thankful even for these endings as they save you from a man who would simply be settling if he stayed. 

If he's really the one, he'll never leave you feeling lousy, he may leave - which feels lousy, but he'll do it because he realizes that he's not the one who will completely adore you and needs to make room for the one who will. 

If its tough when you're first in love, how will it handle a financial catastrophe, an illness or a stressful parenting situation???

You deserve to be fully and completely loved for being exactly who you are. Reserve your energy for the man who will spend his life making you feel this way and let go of the ones who make you feel anything other than adored. 

Graham R White

Self Care - Do you know how?

Recently, I've gone through a major life lesson in self care, expectations and time management. What does that mean? Well I for one had no bloody clue until a lack of energy in my physical body and a high level of anxiety were driving me down a road of no return. And in that, I had no option but to learn.

So how did I start to learn?
Well actually I'm right in the crux of learning and aren't we forever? But the number one realisation was that expectations of every kind were killing my soul. Literally killing my soul and leaving me dangling from edges somewhere and nowhere close to my heart that's for sure. These expectations came in disguises of first and foremost, close relationships and how I felt the need for people to love me. I'd also heavily overcompensated with caring for people throughout my life. I will own that I am good at it, but going over board isn't helpful to anyone or myself and it all just seemed to get increasingly churned up in the expectation cycle. urrrggghh yuk. That is the truthful basis of it. So lesson number one came weeks back now. It was beautiful day and a friend confronted me on some resistance she felt from me. She sat me down, looked me directly in the eyes and said "Lucy I don't want anything from you." BAM, paradigm shift! Did I up until this moment feel as though to gain peoples love I had to achieve something in order to receive?. Mildy or strongly, Yes!. So I realised that the true and wonderful friends in my life, love me, simply for me and without expectation of how I need to be for them. I just am, they just are and so are we. Nice. Thank god for that. How easy to now navigate through the arseholes of the world knowing full well that I have a cheer leading squad supporting my back throughout it all. And to now let go of some of that resistance my friend was speaking of and actually get a little closer to love, being a little more open and a little more present with intimacy.
So from here I learned that if the right people love me and respect me, they'll understand if and when I feel like saying NO to their invitations, and more so support and encourage my down time and keeping low key. And it worked. I recognised if these people are cool with me creating boundaries around my needs, then I'm gonna trickle them out into other aspects of my life and see what happens. So I then quit my job as a community carer. Yep I actually had a job that payed me money to care for people. This job required not only physical and emotional endurance and support for my clients, but I gave it spiritually as well. From shopping, to family sagas and gossip to literally wiping they're bums after a number 2 and cleaning up the mess. These oldies got the very best of me, too much of me.  Quitting this job was like telling the whole last 27years of my life as a people-pleaser to well and truly get fucked!. Ahhhh the empowerment never felt so good. Don't get me wrong, this job did bring many rewards and I wouldn't be where I am today. I'm grateful yet very happy to be moving on. I then found by jumping, the net appeared. I manifested a job in hanging with adolescence but in a lighter more creative way. I finally started my own business as an Art Therapist and as I am the creator, my boundaries are my boundaries. The financial benefit I gain from this work I see as a balanced energy exchange of what I give and what my client receives from me. Win win.

I guess the way I see my life and lessons, especially at the moment, is that they all keep pointing back to number 1. Am I recognising, supporting and surrendering into all the things I need 'within'?. Am I checking in if I am loving and nurturing myself and especially my basic, yet most important needs of self love, home and health balance, right environments and right relationships etc before I can give that energy and share it externally. Checking in if I've got the right foundation for myself?. If I can get this platform right, this foundation, then I can create a platform for 'whatever' I want outside myself and yet my spirit and grounding can still stay stable, whole and integrated. Which means, I don't have anything to lose, I'm in a position only to gain.

For if I keep myself whole, I am home, always.

So the mission from here on is to be gentle in the unfolding of how do I self care. It's become evident to see that if i follow my flow, if i follow my feelings and needs then I'm going to be heading in a lovely direction...

Are you confidently and self caring-ly walking in your own lovely direction?

Love Lucy Xxx

Believe in a love....

“Believe in a love that is being stored up for you like an inheritance, and have faith that in this love there is a strength and a blessing so large that you can travel as far as you wish without having to step outside it.” 

― Rainer Maria Rilke, Letters to a Young Poet

This ones for Hannah!

“The privilege of a lifetime is being who you are.”

~ Joseph Campbell

Gentle men.

I used to think I needed a powerful man, someone who could protect me from the harshness and evils of the world. What I have come to realize is that…the powerful man I was looking for would be foremost, someone who supported me in keeping myself on track spiritually, and in so maintaining clarity within myself, that life would present fewer problems. When it did get rough, he would help me forgive. 

I no longer wanted somebody who would say to me, “Don’t worry honey, if they’re mean to you I’ll beat them up or buy them out.” Instead, I want someone who prays and meditates with me regularly so that fewer monsters from the outer world disturb me, and who when they do, helps me look within my own consciousness for answers, instead of looking to false power to combat false power.

There’s a big difference between a gentle man and a weak man. Weak men make us nervous. Gentle men make us calm.” 

― Marianne Williamson

The World's Most Unusual Therapist

by Dr. Joe Vitale

www.mrfire.com

Two years ago, I heard about a therapist in Hawaii who cured a complete ward of criminally insane patients--without ever seeing any of them. The psychologist would study an inmate's chart and then look within himself to see how he created that person's illness. As he improved himself, the patient improved.

When I first heard this story, I thought it was an urban legend. How could anyone heal anyone else by healing himself? How could even the best self-improvement master cure the criminally insane?

It didn't make any sense. It wasn't logical, so I dismissed the story.

However, I heard it again a year later. I heard that the therapist had used a Hawaiian healing process called ho 'oponopono. I had never heard of it, yet I couldn't let it leave my mind. If the story was at all true, I had to know more.

I had always understood "total responsibility" to mean that I am responsible for what I think and do. Beyond that, it's out of my hands. I think that most people think of total responsibility that way. We're responsible for what we do, not what anyone else does. The Hawaiian therapist who healed those mentally ill people would teach me an advanced new perspective about total responsibility.

His name is Dr. Ihaleakala Hew Len. We probably spent an hour talking on our first phone call. I asked him to tell me the complete story of his work as a therapist. He explained that he worked at Hawaii State Hospital for four years. That ward where they kept the criminally insane was dangerous. Psychologists quit on a monthly basis. The staff called in sick a lot or simply quit. People would walk through that ward with their backs against the wall, afraid of being attacked by patients. It was not a pleasant place to live, work, or visit.

Dr. Len told me that he never saw patients. He agreed to have an office and to review their files. While he looked at those files, he would work on himself. As he worked on himself, patients began to heal.

"After a few months, patients that had to be shackled were being allowed to walk freely," he told me. "Others who had to be heavily medicated were getting off their medications. And those who had no chance of ever being released were being freed."

I was in awe.

"Not only that," he went on, "but the staff began to enjoy coming to work. Absenteeism and turnover disappeared. We ended up with more staff than we needed because patients were being released, and all the staff was showing up to work. Today, that ward is closed."

This is where I had to ask the million dollar question: "What were you doing within yourself that caused those people to change?"

"I was simply healing the part of me that created them," he said.

I didn't understand.

Dr. Len explained that total responsibility for your life means that everything in your life - simply because it is in your life--is your responsibility. In a literal sense the entire world is your creation.

Whew. This is tough to swallow. Being responsible for what I say or do is one thing. Being responsible for what everyone in my life says or does is quite another. Yet, the truth is this: if you take complete responsibility for your life, then everything you see, hear, taste, touch, or in any way experience is your responsibility because it is in your life.

This means that terrorist activity, the president, the economy--anything you experience and don't like--is up for you to heal. They don't exist, in a manner of speaking, except as projections from inside you. The problem isn't with them, it's with you, and to change them, you have to change you.

I know this is tough to grasp, let alone accept or actually live. Blame is far easier than total responsibility, but as I spoke with Dr. Len, I began to realize that healing for him and in ho 'oponopono means loving yourself. If you want to improve your life, you have to heal your life. If you want to cure anyone--even a mentally ill criminal--you do it by healing you.

I asked Dr. Len how he went about healing himself. What was he doing, exactly, when he looked at those patients' files?

"I just kept saying, 'I'm sorry' and 'I love you' over and over again," he explained.

That's it?

That's it.

Turns out that loving yourself is the greatest way to improve yourself, and as you improve yourself, your improve your world. Let me give you a quick example of how this works: one day, someone sent me an email that upset me. In the past I would have handled it by working on my emotional hot buttons or by trying to reason with the person who sent the nasty message. This time, I decided to try Dr. Len's method. I kept silently saying, "I'm sorry" and "I love you," I didn't say it to anyone in particular. I was simply evoking the spirit of love to heal within me what was creating the outer circumstance.

Within an hour I got an e-mail from the same person. He apologized for his previous message. Keep in mind that I didn't take any outward action to get that apology. I didn't even write him back. Yet, by saying "I love you," I somehow healed within me what was creating him.

I later attended a ho 'oponopono workshop run by Dr. Len. He's now 70 years old, considered a grandfatherly shaman, and is somewhat reclusive. He praised my book, The Attractor Factor. He told me that as I improve myself, my book's vibration will raise, and everyone will feel it when they read it. In short, as I improve, my readers will improve.

"What about the books that are already sold and out there?" I asked.

"They aren't out there," he explained, once again blowing my mind with his mystic wisdom. "They are still in you."

In short, there is no out there.

It would take a whole book to explain this advanced technique with the depth it deserves. Suffice it to say that whenever you want to improve anything in your life, there's only one place to look: inside you.

"When you look, do it with love."

This article is from the forthcoming book "Zero Limits" by Dr. Joe Vitale and Dr. Len

“I advise you to stop sharing your dreams with people who try to hold you back, even if they're your parents. Because, if you're the kind of person who senses there's something out there for you beyond whatever it is you're expected to do - if you want to be EXTRA-ordinary- you will not get there by hanging around a bunch of people who tell you you're not extraordinary. Instead, you will probably become as ordinary as they expect you to be.” - Kelly Cutrone

GODDESS

A goddess invents her own life, and lives according to her own vision. This quality requires the companion qualities of imagination and courage.

A goddess is autonomous. She seeks no one's approval, but listens to her own counsel. She answers to no one. She does not try to impress anyone. Her work speaks for itself. She never makes excuses and rarely offers explanations for her actions. She is not defensive for she is not threatened by what other people may think of her. She is the queen of her own life and this is reflected in her demeanor.

A goddess is passionate. She has a palpable energy and enthusiasm that is contagious and beneficial to those around her. In esoteric terms, she raises the vibration in a group situation. She inspires others.

A goddess is continually learning and evolving.

A goddess is authentic. The mask she presents to the outside world is the same as her innermost heart. She has learned to express her emotions cleanly and healthily. What you see is what you get. A goddess knows her own truth. She does not impose her truth on others, but will share her wisdom when invited to.

A goddess takes care of herself. She does not expect others to take care of her. She treats herself as well as she would treat her best friend. She is compassionate and forgiving with herself and others. She gets enough rest and gives her body the right fuel -- both in oxygen and in food and water. She knows what she needs. She feeds her soul.

A goddess is committed to healing the earth and works towards peace and understanding -- whether it is on a large scale or simply within her family and closest circle of friends. She contributes to cleaning up the environment and teaches the next generation to do likewise.

A goddess sees her body (and the earth) as sacred, and is in tune with natural cycles. She is comfortable with her sexuality.

A goddess has learned balance and patience. Flow and ebb. Waxing and waning. A goddess does not freak out during ebb or waning times. She uses it wisely for rest, reflection, and planning.

A goddess has learned to trust her intuition and inner knowing. She has learned to tap into this source at will.

A goddess has learned to let go of the need to control the flow of the river. She has discovered the futility of trying too hard. She has learned to ride the wave and go with the flow, to ask for and accept help when required. She is flexible, fluid, and adaptable. She has given up the need to control or manipulate. She does not pout or whine when she does not get her way.

A goddess communicates her boundaries. She is gentle but firm when her boundaries are violated. She respects others' boundaries. She asks for clarification when necessary.

A goddess recognizes and honors other goddesses and gods. She lends her support to the work of other god/desses. She does not feel competitive or threatened by other goddesses and understands that what is good for one is good for all, and that when one shines, the light benefits all. A goddess knows how to share and is generous of spirit, but she knows her limitations and does not give more than what she can afford -- emotionally, financially, physically, or energy-wise.

A goddess's natural state is one of joy and gratitude. She is also at home with her shadow, and will honestly mourn her losses and explore her fears. She understands that everyone experiences pain -- it is part of life on earth. Therefore she works through her own pain with courage and dignity, not trying to sidestep it, or numb it, but to get through it and learn from it.

A goddess is comfortable with death, and has learned to let go.... of relationships, concepts, and material possessions that are worn out, or that no longer serve her growth.

"We cannot control the wind, but we can adjust the sails." -Dolly Parton

The grass isn't greener on the other side, it's greener where you water it.

Smile

“Smiling is infectious you catch it like the flu.
When someone smiled at me today, I started smiling too.
I passed around the corner, and someone saw me grin,
And when he smiled, I realised, I’d passed it onto him.
I thought about the smile a lot and realised its worth,
A single smile, like mine or yours, could travel round the earth.
So if you feel a smile begin, don’t leave it undetected.
Let’s start an epidemic quick and get the world infected” ~ Anon

If we have reached a level of awareness that enables us to see all that is wrong with the world and those around us, the next step is to go inward and start weeding all of those things out of ourselves. Reality is a projection of what is inside us, and it's time for all of us to start cleaning house. - Katherine Bell

Art by John William Waterhouse

May you be peaceful and joyful and recognize that your senses are sacred thresholds.

May you realize that holiness is mindful, gazing, feeling, hearing, and touching.

May your senses gather you and bring you home.

May your senses always enable you to celebrate the universe and the mystery and possibilities in your presence here…..
-“A Blessing For The Senses” by John O’Donohue, Excerpted from Anam Cara

Art by Denis Nunez Rodriguez

“Ma – You scared a goin’ to a new place?”

Her eyes grew thoughtful and soft. “A little,” she said. “Only it ain’t like scared so much. I’m jus’ a settin’ here waitin’. When somepin happens that I got to do somepin – I’ll do it.”

“Ain’t you thinkin’ what’s it gonna be like when we get there? Ain’t you scared it won’t be nice like we thought?’

“No,” she said quickly. “No, I ain’t. You can’t do that. I can’t do that . It’s too much – livin’ too many lives. Up ahead they’s a thousan’ lives we might live, but when it comes, it’ll only be one. If I go ahead on all of em, it’s too much. You got to live ahead ‘cause you’re so young, but – it’s jus’ the road goin’ by for me.”

John Steinbeck’s Ma and Tom in the Grapes of Wrath.

Letting go of Resistance.

"When people ask how long does it take for something to manifest...Well It takes as long as it takes you to release the resistance. Could be 30 years, could be 40 years, could be 50 years, could be a week. Could be tomorrow afternoon."
~ Abraham

My Love

Right there, in the middle of an ordinary life...love gave me a fairy tale.

Wanderlust needs eternal attention.

The Artist's Creed Jan Philips 2002

I believe I am worth the time it takes
to create whatever I feel called to create.

I believe my work is worthy of its own space
which is worthy of the name sacred.

I believe that when I enter this space, I have the right
to work in silence, uninterrupted, for as long as I choose.

I believe that the moment I open myself to the gifts of the Muse,
I open myself to the Source of All Creation, and become one
with the Mother of Life Itself.

I believe that my work is joyful, useful, and constantly changing,
flowing through me like a river with no beginning and no end.

I believe that what it is I am called to do
will make itself known when I have made myself ready.

I believe that the time I spend creating my art
is as precious as the time I spend giving to others.

I believe that what truly matters in the making of art
is not what the final piece looks like or sounds like,
not what it is worth or not worth,
but what newness gets added to the universe in the
process of the piece itself becoming.

I believe that I am not alone in my attempts to create,
and that once I begin the work, settle into the strangeness,
the words will take shape, the form find life, and the spirit take flight.

I believe that as the Muse gives to me,
so does she deserve from me:
faith, mindfulness and enduring commitment.

The Real Woman Creed by Jan Phillips

I believe that within me lies an extraordinary radiance, and I commit to letting my light loose in the world.
I believe that the source of my power and wisdom is in the center of my being, and I commit to acting from this place of strength.
I believe that I possess an abundance of passion and creative potential and I commit to the expression of these gifts.
I believe that the time has come to let go of old notions and unhealthy attitudes, and I commit to re-examine what I have been told about beauty and dismiss what insults my soul.
I believe that negative thoughts and words compromise my well-being, and I commit to thinking and speaking positively about myself and others.
I believe that young women are in need of positive role models, and I commit to being an example of authenticity and self-love.
I believe in the relationship between my well-being and the well-being of the planet, and I commit to a life of mindfulness that regards all living things as holy and worthy of my love.
I believe it is my spiritual responsibility to care for my body with respect, kindness and compassion, I commit to balancing my life in such a way that my physical being is fully expressed and nurtured.
I believe that joy is an essential part of wellness, and I commit to removing obstacles to joy and creating a life that is full of exuberance.
I believe that a woman who loves herself is a powerful, passionate, attractive force, and I commit, from this day forward, to loving myself deeply and extravagantly.

Twin Flames

This is so beautiful and something that I have personally believed in all my life, I didn’t even realise that many people believed the same, or that it even had a name. I had this info sent to me from a friend and I have no idea where it originates from – if you are the writer of this info or part of it, please let me know and I will be more than happy to credit you for it.
For those of you who are looking, searching or have found their perfect partner you will enjoy reading this. Twin Flames are different from Soul Mates. I am lucky enough to have finally joined with my “Twin Flame” but I still have one or two very special Soul Mates in my life whom I cherish very dearly and will love unconditionally forever.
Twin Flames
The final division of the soul that took place eons and eons ago could be likened to the separating of a magnet into two separate pieces. Each piece would be predominately one polarity or the other but a residual amount of its opposite essence would always be present within itself.
So it is with the divided twin (soul). The masculine half has always retained some of the original feminine energy that the soul first possessed while the feminine half still holds onto a part of the masculine essence it once was united with. Since that time we have roamed around in this incomplete state of being experiencing life after life and relationship after relationship until we decide we’ve had enough and want something more fulfilling. In order for that to happen each twin must first achieve a balance of masculine and feminine essence within themselves and bring that balanced energy to each other to complete the whole.
Ultimately, each and every one of us will reach a point when a very serious choice and commitment is made… to begin the process of growing and evolving on a spiritual level. As that happens we will rediscover our true spiritual nature and go through an inner transformation that is so profound it will affect the deepest part of our being. At that moment the soul begins to crave completion with its Source in a way that is difficult to describe unless one has experienced it. Part of this craving will be satisfied by reunion with our twin.
The twin-soul concept is not new. Plato described it 2,500 years ago. Here is an excerpt:
” … and when one of them meets the other half, the actual half of himself, the pair are lost in an amazement of love and friendship and intimacy and one will not be out of the other’s sight even for a moment…
When each of us separated into our male and female halves long ago, the soul knew (and still knows) that the rejoining of its incomplete self would inevitably take place… it was part of the divine plan. After that agonizing and painful division took place a deep seated yearning for oneness began to linger within each of us and the desire for reunion and completeness has endured over the ages. Only one other in all the universe can satisfy it. As a result, we are constantly searching for our twin. But the desire for completion doesn’t stop there… and the soul also realizes this. What the soul really wants is not only reunion with itself but the original feeling of oneness it had with its Source in the very beginning. This craving for the “First Intimacy” will not stop until it is fully satisfied. We have as long as we want to make it happen… but it will happen.
“Out of the original unity of being there is a fragmentation and dispersal of beings, the last stage being the splitting of one soul into two. And consequently, love is the search by each half for the other half on earth or in heaven…
As twin souls are so alike to begin with, it seems necessary for them to go their separate ways before they can complete each other. Identity and complementarily are the two driving forces and axes of love… For the complete being there must be a blending of the two.”
If two twins are to reunite and then have a meaningful partnership both have to be spiritually ready for it. At that point the Universe will create the special forces necessary to bring them together for another moment in time. However, the search for the other must always begin as a search within each of the twins themselves first before lasting reunion is possible. Each has to discover his or her own individual spiritual nature and potential… and then do their best to live it on a daily basis.
There are no dependencies in a twin soul relationship because the “sense of self” has been developed quite well within each of the partners. To reach that point, a certain degree of internal balance and happiness must first be nurtured and achieved. Then, during reunion, the essence of one simply flows into the essence of the other to create the completeness. There is no effort involved.

It is also impossible for twin souls to remain separated on any kind of permanent basis. When in relationship, they will continue to have conflicts. However, they will be driven to resolve these conflicts (and any past karma) as quickly as possible. Nothing is left unsaid. Nothing is left to chance. Assumptions never enter their minds. All is out in the open. Neither sits, pouts and wonders who will make the first move at “making up.” There are no games. There is no pretending. There is no deception. There is no fear of reprisal because unconditional love is the foundation upon which their relationship has been built. In essence, they can just be themselves. And as each conflict resolves, the bond of love between them takes on renewed meaning and strength. What incredible freedom! Such is the nature of this very divine and profound union.

How will you know you have met your twin? Here are some of the experiences given by others who have met their twin.
Chances are you’ve met through a set of unusual circumstances… totally unplanned and unexpected
There is an instantaneous feeling that you have known the other before
You felt an immediate and deep connection for one another
There is an electrifying feeling between the two of you that words cannot describe
The relationship is immediate… as though no time had been lost since you were last together
It feels as though you had never lived before the reunion occurred
You feel a deep sense of unity that you’ve have never known before
It brings on feelings you never thought possible
The two of you are inseparable
When you look into each other’s eyes time and space have no meaning
There are no barriers between the two of you… the relationship is a totally open one
Your conversations seem to go on forever
The two of you have a strong urge to serve humanity in a deep and meaningful way
You give to the other and never think of receiving in return
There is a special sacredness to your relationship that transcends anything you’ve ever experienced before
You still have karma with your twin (from previous lives) but the two of you resolve it all with total forgiveness and unconditional love
Neither one of you are dependent on the other for your sense of self
There is a real feeling of unlimitedness to your feelings… you have a strong sense of eternity
Your feelings for each other are very spiritual
There are no restrictions within the relationship… all is freedom without the need for ownership or control
The two of you know without doubt that you have been brought together for a reason
You do not compete with one another nor do you pretend to be other than who you are
In spite of your sameness there is no doubt you feel a sense of completion through the other
Trust, patience, acceptance of each other’s weaknesses happen automatically
There is a great sense of purpose and meaning to the relationship
Your sexuality with one another is a sacred act that celebrates the unconditional love you have for one another
When you look into the other’s eyes you see yourself
You experience a sense of completeness that is without comparison
There is no doubt that some of the experiences described above are also common to soul mate relationships. What really sets the twin soul union apart from all the rest is the profound degree of completeness experienced and the overwhelming sense of spirituality unique to them. Twins want to serve humanity in some meaningful way. There is also a very sacred sense of intimacy and feeling of divinely inspired wholeness that one finds within a twin soul relationship. It is not by accident nor is it without purpose.

Duality

LIfe is mega abundant! I got music, I got waves, I got work, I got a lover man, I got true heart friends, I got challenges that make my blood boil, I got bills, I got sunshine, I got rain. This be heaven on earth my friends.
Be like a wise elderly grandmother, hold light and dark in both hands. Duality.

What others think about me?!

I have worried a lot about what people think of me. Since I was really little. I don't know if it's conditioning, what I did or didn't receive during childhood or if it's my nature. Or simply both. Either way I have walked through many of my days anxious about how people perceive me and what my impact is on them. In that process I have tried to be everything everyone needs in a sense. Stressful. I worry what my managers think, I worry what my brother thinks, I worry what my flatmate thinks, I worry what ex partners think. Fucken madness. Perhaps I am far to self absorbed? I make myself too important? I'm afraid of not being loved by others?
Well right now I say 'Fuck It!' I have to learn to love me. If I've got my back, it doesn't matter if Jo-blow doesn't.
Nothing really matters ay. And at the end of the day, no one is actually too worried about me, because they're worried about themselves.
New big lesson, not gonna be easy, but going to be worth it.

Helpers of the Earth

The empirical fact is that self-actualizing people, our best experiencers, are also our most compassionate, our great improvers and reformers of society, our most effective fighters against injustice, inequality, slavery, cruelty, exploitation, (and also our best fighters for excellence, effectiveness, competence). And it also becomes clearer and clearer that the best "helpers" are the most fully human persons. What I may call the bodhisattvic path is an integration of self-improvement and social zeal, i.e., the best way to become a better "helper" is to become a better person. But one necessary aspect of becoming a better person is via helping other people. So one must and can do simultaneously.
-Abraham Maslow

Your Legacy

"Do what you 'Want' to do, Not what you 'Think' you should do".

Two and a half years ago I visited the Amazon jungle of Peru to spend time with some Shipibo Shaman. I'd locked myself in for a two week commitment to deep learning and healing. The first night I arrived, I dreamt of my Dad. He held gently both my shoulders, looked intently into my eyes and rambled much advice. The only thing I remember was the quote above. It keeps coming to me and the meaning keeps unfolding.

Rather than simply being with our truth creatively and trusting in the moment, we often act from beliefs and patterns of yesterday. We need to learn to spend more time in our hearts than in our heads. The quickest way toward our dreams is to do what we love, be with those that make us happy and be grateful for the good.

When we are stripped bare of all the rights and wrongs, shoulds and shouldn'ts, our fighting ego is left naked and vulnerable. Beyond this there is a place of pure essence. This essence is our awesomeness. Our dreams, loves and joys reside here. We reside here. Our responsibility is to be ourselves. We are the only ones equipped to do the job, no one else can.

It is our legacy to the world to make sure we are living a life we Love.

Life and Magic

“If physics leads us today to a world view which is essentially mystical, it returns, in a way, to its beginning, 2,500 years ago. ... This time, however, it is not only based on intuition, but also on experiments of great precision and sophistication, and on a rigorous and consistent mathematical formalism.”


― Fritjof Capra

Love loves to love Love

"For once you have tasted flight you will walk the earth with your eyes turned skywards, for there you have been and there you will long to return."
Leonardo da Vinci

Honesty.

Honesty is the most vulnerable man I have ever met. He is simple and loving. He lives in a small town on a cliff near the beach. I had forgotten how many stars there are in the midnight sky until I spent a week with him at his house by the sea.

In my time I have been afraid of so many things, most especially of the heights and of the darkness. I know if I had been driving anywhere else, the road would have terrified me. Knowing I was on my way to see him softened the fear. And in his presence the darkness becomes big and deep and comforting. He says if you are totally vulnerable , you cannot be hurt.
-J.Ruth Gendler.

Ebbs and Flows...

You are approaching your life. Every day, every moment. Some times the sun is shining, sometimes the sky is black and the moon is hidden. Similarly some times we need action, sometimes we need non action. Look back throughout the last 2-5 years of your life, recollect the steps you have taken, the tools you have learned and gathered. See the advancement in your learning, growing and most of all achievement.
You are on track, you are going exactly to the place you are meant to be. If nothing else remember the universe honors what ones heart deeply yearns for; if you stay in integrity, in gentle alignment with that..... There is nothing else you need to be concerned about.

Intuitive selves...

"well...thats we do....we act on things that go against our intuitive selves and wind up doing things that dont serve us or the situations and this provides an oppurtunity to grow and learn to trust ourselves more so thats all it is....an opportunity to become more firmly seated in trusting what signals that come up to rely on and its an on going process to stand more firm and clear... being able to read a good combined intellect -heart read but the ebb and flow of this process is great...
give thanks for the quick awareness that you gain for the times you've gone against your intuitive feelings.

yes......it can feel like shit for sure but this will just drive it deeper with the learning and as long as we can speak our truth with clear, compassionate communication..then we can not be responsible for how another receives things and get upset...
we just have to be seated in clear compassionate speech and thats all we can trully be responsible for.
well...no one is perfect..no matter how much we think we know, situations arise to challenge us and put these things to the test."

New Earth Relationships

New Earth relationships will be so different to the relationships you now have. They will be gentler and more playful and yet wise. There will be less intensity and drama, and more caring, nurturing and companionship. You will come to realise that the purpose of relationship, all relationship, is to "relate" - to share and to support and to nuture from your own sense of abundance and completeness. You will look for relationships that are spiritual and heart-based, rather then physical and emotional. In the Old Earth relationship paradigm, relationships were based on physical atrraction and emotional bonding. In the New earth, your relationships will be based in the heart, in feelings, compassion, connection and mutual respect and support. We forsee many relationships growing between people of different age groups and different cultures, relationships that will be deep and meaningful, and yet would not have seemed possible before because of the narrow limitations of what you considered a relationship to be in your Old Earth energy framework.
These relationships will be light and joyous, and yet capable of real depth and intimacy because the people concerned will be more interested in the connections of the soul rather than the connections of the external and the physical realms.
There will be sharing and caring, and yet both partners will be independent and self-reliant within themselves. There can be no co-dependency in the New Earth. Balance is so important. These relationships will be balanced and loving, between two equally powerful and caring persons. There will be no dominance, no victims, no dramas and no abuse.
There will be commitment - commitment to the relationship and the mutual growth of each of the partners within the relationship. And this will be true for all relationships, not just love or romantic relationships. Friendships will become deeper and more meaningful experiences, as you understand that you have soul families, and that your friends often are close soul relations who are here to love and support you in your work on the planet. And when your relationships exist in this loving and balanced state, then your sexuality will also be loving and balanced. And, once again humans will learn to celebrate and enjoy their creative and sexual energies in ways that are life-enhancing and ecstatic. And we are here to work with you and love you and support you as you move into this loving and love-filled space.


~Indigo Nine~

A woman’s highest calling is to lead a man to his soul; so as to unite with Source, her lowest calling is to seduce; separate man from soul,and leave him aimlessly wandering.

A man’s highest calling is to protect woman; so she is free to walk the earth unharmed, man’s lowest calling is to ambush and force way into life of woman.

~ Cherokee

Your thoughts...

“When you run after your thoughts, you are like a dog chasing a stick. Every time a stick is thrown, you run after it. Instead, be like a lion who, rather than chasing after the stick, turns to face the thrower. One only throws a stick at a lion once.”— Milarepa

Hold onto your dreams.

Yesterday I spent the early afternoon with one of my regular clients, a lovely lady who has become a favorite to me. Her 100 and a 1/4yr old mother died just a month ago and since she has found a bundle of photos, of herself and an ex partner from 40yrs back in her mums stash of yesteryear. She told me how, this bloke was the love of her life, they were engaged to be married yet regrettably, she gave him the flick and soon married a different guy that promised her security. Which was a big mistake she proclaimed. This other guy goes by the name of "arsehole" to be clear. As we sat looking at these photos, she looked me in the eye and said leaving this man was the biggest mistake she's ever made, and that she can't believe after finding these photos 40yrs on, her heart is still breaking for him. She has found herself in tears, not over the death of her mother but of him. It has been the biggest regret of her life.
So the moral to this story is to chase your dreams even if the world around you says otherwise. Follow all the signs to your happiness and leave no space for doubt to grow. Love who your heart loves, give yourself and let your self be given to. Because 40yrs down the road you don't want to be sitting on the edge of your bed, heavy hearted with your carer telling them that you missed your chance at real love.
"Life disappears very quickly, like something written in the water with a stick."

"The problem, if you love it, is as beautiful as the sunset,"

I believe nothing really is wrong...It's only our perception. Life is simply stepping stones of lessons and experiences that lead us further into new lessons and experiences. Like a woven blanket, every thread important to make a whole. Without the dark, there cannot be light and vice verser. We are here today, only because of yesterday :)

May we never forget...

May we never forget the relational and co-transformative nature of human expansion. Although the ultimate romance is with your own soul, it is our experiences together that give birth to the essential lessons. We are each here to participate in this dance of sacred imagination, stepping on each other's toes and turning each other toward God one clumsy step after another. We trip, and then we get back up with greater awareness. With this in heart, I am hopeful that we can learn to accept one another in our humanness. We are going to continue to make mistakes, but there is grace in that if we see our errors through to the lessons they contain.

I believe in all that has never yet been spoken.
I want to free what waits within me
so that what no one has dared to wish for

may for once spring clear
without my contriving.

If this is arrogant, God, forgive me,
but this is what I need to say.
May what I do flow from me like a river,
no forcing and no holding back,
the way it is with children.

Then in these swelling and ebbing currents,
these deepening tides moving out, returning,
I will sing you as no one ever has,

streaming through widening channels
into the open sea.


~ Rainer Maria Rilke ~

Companion

If you find an intelligent companion, a wise and well-behaved person going the same way as yourself, then go along with him, overcoming all dangers, pleased at heart and mindful.

But if you do not find an intelligent companion, a wise and well-behaved person going the same way as yourself, then go on your way alone, like a king abandoning a conquered kingdom, or like a great elephant in the deep forest.

"Love loves to love love"
-James Joyce

David Deida - A True Heart Man

"David Deida is a great teacher. His book "The Way of the Superior Man" is incredibly practical, informative and helpful regarding woman, sex and following your true path with courage." Daniel Coates – Editor www.pathstobliss.com

Definition of a "Heart-true" Man
by David Deida

From "What Men Wish Women Knew"
by David Deida


A MAN’S DESIRE GROWS IN THREE STAGES
What do men wish women knew? That depends on the kind of man. We’ll look at the three stages men grow through as they evolve spiritually as lovers. At each stage, men want something different from women.

1. "My way or the highway." You may recognize this attitude, or maybe your man has actually said these words to you. Some men want a woman to be obedient, and that’s that. We’ll call this kind of man a "me-man," because his priority is getting his own way, being king of the castle.
2. "Let’s share our feelings and be fair." When a man grows beyond his need to dominate a relationship, then he is careful to divide the pie evenly. He agrees to do the dishes on Monday, Wednesday, and Friday and you agree do them on Tuesday, Thursday, and Saturday. He takes the children to school in the morning, and you pick them up in the afternoon. We’ll call this kind of man a "50/50 man" because his priorities include equality, independence, and sharing.
3. "Let’s open our hearts, surrender to love, and give our deepest gifts." When a man grows beyond his need to be in charge and his need to create safety, then he has become a "heart-true man." The priority in his life is no longer about self-centered achievement. Nor is his priority to create a comfortable home and a relationship centered on fairness. Instead, like an artist learning to open and express his deepest heart, his priority is to live as love and give his deepest gift. He wants to be with a woman who is willing to surrender, as he has, to the force of divine or sacred love. And this kind of openness can be risky business.
SEX
1. A me-man wants a woman to know how to give him physical pleasure whenever he wants it.
2. A 50/50 man wants a woman to know how to share her emotions with him, talk with him during sex, tell him what she likes and doesn’t like, and express her sexual desires freely. He wants to give her pleasure as much as he wants to receive pleasure. He wants to be careful so they both feel comfortable.
3. A heart-true man’s priority is not to give and receive physical pleasure or emotional comfort, but to dissolve with his lover in the ecstasy of unbounded love. He wants her body and heart to open so wide that he is drawn into her love, and through her love, into an openness of love without bounds. He wants to let go of his sense of separation and meld with his woman, opening with her as one radiant heart of bliss. In this vulnerable, unprotected embrace, he wants to consciously ravish his woman with so much love that she has no choice – that they have no choice – but to surrender open as infinite love.
DEPENDENCE, INDEPENDENCE, AND COMMUNICATION
1. A me-man wants a woman to depend on him, emotionally and financially, so he can feel good about himself and enjoy a strong sense of self-worth. Likewise, his woman wants to feel special, depended on for the pleasure, affection, and love that she gives her man. This is the least mature form of relationship, in which lovers are co-dependent, craving to be appreciated and seen as strong or beautiful in the eyes of the other.
2. A 50/50 man wants a woman who is independent and can stand on her own two feet. He doesn’t want to always be responsible for her, emotionally or financially, but expects her to be able to take care of herself. He wants "space" to live his own life, and he is more than happy to give her space to live hers. This results in a modern, 50/50 style of relationship, in which two independent people share a life together out of choice rather than neediness. Although better than a relationship of co-dependence or abuse, this 50/50 relationship soon begins to feel shallow and empty of passion, almost like a business relationship, although it is fair and safe.
3. A heart-true man doesn’t want a woman who depends on him. He also doesn’t want a woman who stands separate, heart-guarded, and independent. He wants a woman who has grown enough to surrender her boundaries of safety, allowing her heart to open and be absolutely ravished to its depth by love – sexually and in everyday life.
Although she can easily stand by herself, her heart yearns for more than the self-sufficiency she has achieved. Her enjoyment of heart-oneness is greater than her need for heart-safety. Her bliss in communion is greater than her need for deliberate communication. Her living art is to be free, surrendered open as her true power, the flow of infinite love.
Dependent neediness and independent self-responsibility were only stages on the way to this utter heart-fullness. She no longer needs a man’s love, and she no longer needs to give herself love, because now she is learning to open and live as love. She is learning to breathe love with every breath and offer love through every gesture. No longer waiting for a White Knight or her own success to save her, her artful practice is to live as a blessing force of love, with or without her man.
CRITICISM
1. A me-man doesn’t like to be criticized. No matter what he is doing, he wants his woman’s support. Even if she has a good idea, he can’t receive it unless he convinces himself that it was his idea.
2. A 50/50 man respects his woman’s ideas and gives them as much weight as his own. If they disagree about something, he is very willing to meet her half way. This often results in a mutual compromise, so that neither partner lives true to their deepest heart desire, but at least they honor each other’s opinions.
3. A heart-true man knows that his life feels shallow unless he acts in alignment with his deepest purpose. He cherishes his woman’s criticism – he realizes that in many ways her intuition is far deeper than his own – but in the end he takes full responsibility for his decisions.
If his woman suggests something that changes his perspective, then he makes a new decision. But he never compromises his heart’s deepest truth in order to please his woman or "go along" with her. He knows that if he gives up his heart’s true decision to follow his woman’s, then he will blame her if she is wrong and feel disempowered if she is right, having denied himself the opportunity to act from his deep heart and grow from his mistakes. By listening carefully to his woman and then taking total responsibility for his actions, he is free to offer her love unencumbered by resentment.
THE MASCULINE MISSION
1. A me-man uses his woman to fill the voids of his life. When he is not working, watching TV, playing golf, or reading the newspaper, he is willing to "tolerate" his woman enough to get what he needs from her.
2. A 50/50 man is willing to spend time shopping and chatting with his woman, just as she is willing to watch football games and violent action movies with him. Sometimes he listens to her talking even though he is bored and uninterested. After all, he wants to be fair, and what she has to say is every bit as important as what he has to say. He is careful to set aside his current project and spend enough time with his woman so she doesn’t complain, even though deep down he may begin to resent her for distracting him from his sense of purpose.
3. A heart-true man’s priority is to open in love and give his deepest gift, just as he wants his woman to do, too. He doesn’t require that she sit through a violent movie if she has to close her heart to handle it, and he doesn’t want to be required to sit through a conversation if he has to fake his interest. Rather than blab about the day, there are times when he would rather sit in silence and gaze deeply into his woman’s eyes, or touch her with tenderness, or ravish her with loving passion.
A heart-true man wants to be with his woman without distraction, closure, or impatience. He spends his workday acting in alignment with his deepest purpose – financial, artistic, political, or spiritual – so that when he is with his woman he can offer his love undividedly and completely; he is with her wholeheartedly. She can receive his total presence, and he can receive her abundant radiance. He wants his woman to understand that even though she may be the most important person in his life, his life’s mission is not necessarily centered around, nor dependent on, their relationship.
FEMININE RADIANCE
1. A me-man wants to be nurtured by mommy and seduced by a vixen, so he expects his woman to cook, clean, and look sexy. To him, feminine radiance means nice cleavage, tight pants, and an alluring smile.
2. A 50/50 man wants his woman to share equally in all responsibilities. He’ll share with the cooking and cleaning as along as she carries her weight financially. He wants his lover to wield her masculine directionality while she smiles her feminine shine. He wants her to stay on schedule, meet her goals, and say exactly what she means while at the same time looking relaxed and radiant. She wonders, "How can he expect me to be an accountant, a word-warrior, and a goddess, all at the same time?" He wonders, "Why can’t a woman be more like a man?"
3. A heart-true man may do business with his woman, but he acknowledges that he isn’t with her for that reason; nor is he with her only for love, which he freely enjoys with his friends and entire family. He has uniquely chosen his woman to be his most intimate feminine source, the only person with whom he opens in full sexual expression and gifting.
A heart-true man understands that the most glorious feminine radiance is a gift borne of open heart, relaxed body, and fulfilled soul. Therefore, he does his best to create a sanctuary in which his woman’s love can bloom through a trusting heart, a blissful body, and a soul entered by his deep presence. Even if she is a corporate CEO, in their intimate time together he honors her deepest feminine desire, which is to open in love so fully, to surrender in trust so completely, that she is filled by the divine bliss that flows from her heart’s deepest chambers. He wants to open and surrender with her, so that her radiance bathes his life in glory as his presence swoons her naked soul in divine delight.
THE BOTTOM LINE
1. A me-man wants his woman to know how to bolster his self-image and pleasurize his body.
2. A 50/50 man wants his woman to know how to communicate clearly, stand independently, and be half-and-half, willing to change the car’s oil or remove the dead mouse from the trap and then wear lace and silk to bed.
3. A heart-true man wants his woman to know how to give her soul’s deepest gifts, and how to open her heart and body with him in a surrendered merger of unprotected fullness so they flow freely with, and dissolve in, the boundless love that is their heart’s deepest desire.


About David Deida – Acknowledged as one of the most insightful and provocative spiritual teachers of our time, best-selling author of "The Way of the Superior Man" David Deida continues to revolutionize the way that men and women grow spiritually and sexually. His teachings and writings on a radically practical spirituality for our time have been hailed as among the most original and authentic contributions to personal and spiritual growth currently available.

Equality

"You can discover more about a person in an hour of play than in a year of conversation"
-Plato

The quality of love you feel from your woman is directly related to

The amount of times you acknowledge her and let her know that she is seen and appreciated

which is directly related to

the amount of support for your path and purpose she shows you

which is directly related to

the amount of respect she feels for you as the masculine in her life

which is directly related to

how deep her feminine can melt and surrender in your presence

which is directly related to

how well you can hold and meet her in that space

which is directly related to



integrity

appreciation

trust

communication

congruence

action and reaction

clarity

honesty

gratitude

sharing

caring



with growth and maturity



and you will have the depth of your Love and Connection



eKw - January 2012

“Alot of people travel to wonder at the height of the mountains, at the huge waves of the seas, at the long course of the rivers, at the vast compass of the ocean, at the circular motion of the stars, and yet they sometimes pass by themselves without wondering.”

Fall In Love

“Nothing is more practical than finding God, that is, than falling in a love in a quite absolute, final way. What you are in love with, what seizes your imagination, will affect everything. It will decide what will get you out of bed in the mornings, what you will do with your evenings, how you spend your weekends, what you read, who you know, what breaks your heart, and what amazes you with joy and gratitude. Fall in love, stay in love, and it will decide everything.” ~ Pedro Arrupe

Stepping stone. Lucy and Zech

Angel from Montgomery / Lucy and Zech

Love yourself...Sex in the City

"Later that day I got to thinking about relationships. There are those that open you up to something new and exotic, those that are old and familiar, those that bring up lots of questions, those that bring you somewhere unexpected, those that bring you far from where you started, and those that bring you back. But the most exciting, challenging and significant relationship of all is the one you have with yourself. And if you find someone to love the you you love, well, that's just fabulous. "

William Irwin Thompson, Evil and World Order

We are experiencing the initiation of the human race into a new level of consciousness, and that is a very terrifying experience. It does no good to turn and run from the terror of our darkness into light; we must sit it out: zazen. We must take our counsel from The Tibetan Book of the Dead and realize that these frightening projections of famines, economic disasters, ecological catastrophes, floods, earthquakes, and wars are all only the malevolent aspects of beneficent deities. If we sit and observe them, do not identify with them, but remember our Buddha-nature, we will not be dragged down by them into an incarnation of the hell they prefigure. If we run from them, we validate them; we give the projections the very psychic energy they need to overtake us. Then, as Jung has pointed out, the situation will happen outside as fate.

William Irwin Thompson, Evil and World Order

Abraham

"But, what if what I want and what you want are in conflict? If I want rain, and you've just cut your alfalfa…how does that work?" If you will focus upon the essence of what you want (which is a magnificent new crop) and the other will focus upon the essence of what they want (which is a successful alfalfa harvest, or whatever)… and if either one of you doesn't get too involved in the details of how you think you want your desire to play out, then both of you can be satisfied. The Universe has the facility to orchestrate circumstances and events to accommodate everyone. - Abraham

Intuition

Roll up, Roll up...
Ladies and Gentleman, Introducing;
Intuition!
The Inner Radar of Pure Truth and Genius, often appearing as subtle as a punch in the face.

If in doubt, go without.

Sustaining one's inner grace, is far more rewarding than risking handing it over to a vortex of uncertainty.

- L.C.A

Lao Tzu

If you want to become whole,
let yourself be partial.

If you want to become straight,
let yourself be crooked.

If you want to become full,
let yourself be empty.

If you want to be reborn,
let yourself die.

If you want to be given everything,
give everything up.

Abraham

"It's ever so much more satisfying to get into a blissful place and attract a blissful person and live blissfully hereafter than to be in a negative place and attract a negative partner and then try to get happy from that negative place." -- Abraham

W. Clement Stone

“You are a product of your environment. So choose the environment that will best develop you toward your objective. Analyze your life in terms of its environment. Are the things around you helping you toward success - or are they holding you back?”

Bette Midler, The Rose

It's the heart afraid of breaking, That never learns to dance
It's the dream afraid of waking that never takes the chance
It's the one who won't be taken, who cannot seem to give
And the soul afraid of dying that never learns to live
When the night has been too lonely, And the road has been too long
And you think that love is only for the lucky and the strong
Just remember in the winter far beneath the bitter snows
Lies the seed that with the sun's love
In the spring becomes the rose ” ~

Florence + The Machine - What The Water Gave Me

Conversations with God

"Feeling good is your way of telling yourself that your last thought was truth, that your last word was wisdom, that your last action was love."

The Ocean

My home...
My god...
My medicine...

....without you I'd be lost ....

Self love

A time comes in your life when you finally get it. When in the midst of all your fears you stop in your tracks and somewhere the voice inside your head cries out — ENOUGH! Enough fighting and struggling to hold on and like a child quieting after a tantrum, your sobs begin to subside, you blink back your tears and through a mantle of wet lashes you begin to look at the world through new eyes.

This is your awakening. You realize that it’s time to stop hoping and waiting for something to change, or for happiness, safety and security to come galloping over the next horizon. You come to terms with the fact that he is not Prince Charming, and you are not Cinderella and that in the real world there aren’t always fairy tale endings (or beginnings for that matter), and that any guarantee of “happily ever after” must begin with you. In that process a sense of serenity is born out of acceptance. You awaken to the fact that you are not perfect, and that not everyone will always love, appreciate or approve of who or what you are and thats OK. And you learn the importance of loving and championing yourself, and in the process a sense of newfound confidence is born of self-approval.

You stop blaming other people for the things they did or didn't do to or for you and you learn the only thing you can really count on is the unexpected.

You learn not everyone will be there for you, and that it’s not always about you. So, you learn to stand on your own and take care of yourself, and in the process a sense of safety and security is born of self-reliance.

You stop judging and pointing fingers, and you begin to accept people as they are, and overlook their shortcomings and human frailties and in the process, a sense of peace and contentment is born of forgiveness.

You realize that much of the way you view yourself, and the world around you, is a result of all the messages and opinions that have been ingrained into your psyche. And you begin to sift through all the crap you’ve been fed about how you should behave, how you should look, how much you shouldn’t weigh, what you should wear, where you should shop, what you should drive, how and where you should live, what you should do for a living, how you should raise your children or what you owe your parents.

You learn to open up to new worlds and different points of views and you begin redefining who you are and what you stand for. You learn the difference between want and need, and you begin to discard the doctrines and values you’ve outgrown, and in the process you learn to go with your instincts. You learn to distinguish between guilt and responsibility, and the importance of setting boundaries and learning to say NO. You learn that the only cross to bear is the one you choose to carry, and that martyrs get burned at the stake.

Then you learn about love – romantic and familial and you learn how to love, how much to give in love, when to stop giving, and when to walk away. You learn when you have made them a priority and they have made you an option and you learn not to project your needs or feelings onto a relationship. You learn that you will not be more beautiful, intelligent, more lovable, or important because of the man or woman on your arm or the child that bears your name.

You learn to look at relationships as they are and not as you would have them be. You stop trying to control people, situations, and outcomes. You learn that just as people grow and change, so it is with love and you learn that you don’t have the right to demand love on your terms. And, you learn that alone does not mean lonely.

And you look in the mirror and come to terms with the fact that you will never be perfect and you stop trying to compete with the image inside your head. You stop working so hard to push feelings aside, smooth things over, and ignore your needs. You learn it is your right to want the things that you want and sometimes it is appropriate and necessary to make demands. You come to the realization that you deserve to be treated with love, kindness, sensitivity and respect, and that you will not settle for less. And you allow only the hands of a lover who cherishes you, to glorify you with his or her touch, and in the process you internalize the meaning of self-respect.

And you learn that your body is your temple. You begin eating a balanced diet, drinking more water, and taking more time to exercise. You learn that fatigue diminishes the spirit and can create doubt and fear, so you take more time to rest. And just as food fuels the body, laughter fuels the soul, so you take more time to laugh and to play and surround yourself with people who believe in you.

You learn that anything worth achieving is worth working for, and that wishing for something to happen is different than working toward making it happen. More importantly, you learn that in order to achieve success, you need direction, discipline, and perseverance. You also learn that not one can do it all alone and it’s OK to ask for help.

You learn that the only thing you must really fear is fear itself. You learn to step through your fears because you know you can survive and to give into fear is to give away the right to live life on your terms.

You learn that life isn’t always fair, you don’t always get what you think you deserve, and sometimes bad things happen to unsuspecting, good people. You learn that God is not always punishing you or failing to answer your prayers. It’s just life happening. And you learn to deal with evil in its most primal state – the ego. You learn that negative feelings such as anger, regret, and resentment must be understood and redirected, or they will suffocate the life out of you and poison the universe that surrounds you.

You learn to admit when you are wrong and build bridges instead of walls. You learn to be grateful and take comfort in the simple things we take for granted. Slowly you begin to take responsibility for yourself, and you make yourself a promise to never betray yourself or settle for less than your heart’s desire.

And you hang a wind chime so you can listen to the wind and you make it a point to keep smiling, to keep trusting, and to stay open to every wonderful possibility.And you learn that self-love is a Powerful Perspective.

Finally, with courage in your heart and with God by your side, you take a stand, take a deep breath, and begin to design the life you want to live.

Woman

Six60 - Someone To Be Around (Red Bull Studio Live Session)

Do you have a minute for Pure Genius?

Washington, DC Metro Station on a cold January morning in 2007. The man with a violin played six Bach pieces for about 45 minutes. During that time approx. 2 thousand people went through the station, most of them on their way to work. After 3 minutes a middle aged man noticed there was a musician playing. He slowed his pace and stopped for a few seconds and then hurried to meet his schedule.

4 minutes later:

The violinist received his first dollar: a woman threw the money in the hat and, without stopping, continued to walk.

6 minutes:

A young man leaned against the wall to listen to him, then looked at his watch and started to walk again.

10 minutes:

A 3-year old boy stopped but his mother tugged him along hurriedly. The kid stopped to look at the violinist again, but the mother pushed hard and the child continued to walk, turning his head all the time. This action was repeated by several other children.. Every parent, without exception, forced their children to move on quickly..

45 minutes:

The musician played continuously. Only 6 people stopped and listened for a short while. About 20 gave money but continued to walk at their normal pace. The man collected a total of $32.

1 hour:

He finished playing and silence took over. No one noticed. No one applauded, nor was there any recognition.

No one knew this, but the violinist was Joshua Bell, one of the greatest musicians in the world. He played one of the most intricate pieces ever written, with a violin worth $3.5 million dollars. Two days before Joshua Bell sold out a theater in Boston where the seats averaged $100.

This is a true story. Joshua Bell playing incognito in the metro station was organized by the Washington Post as part of a social experiment about perception, taste and people’s priorities.

The questions raised:

*In a common place environment at an inappropriate hour, do we perceive beauty?

*Do we stop to appreciate it?

*Do we recognize talent in an unexpected context?

One possible conclusion reached from this experiment could be this:

If we do not have a moment to stop and listen to one of the best musicians in the world, playing some of the finest music ever written, with one of the most beautiful instruments ever made.

How many other things are we missing?